The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 076

Friday, September 8, 2023

Recipient: Mama and four month old baby @ Steam Espresso Bar, Platt Park

nub·bins

/ˈnəb(ə)nz/

noun

NORTH AMERICAN (witt dialect)

plural noun: nubbinses

        a child under the age of 12 months

        "the nubbins had just figured out how to insert her whole fist in her mouth"

Mama and the nubbins were sitting outside as I was leaving; I couldn't help but pause to say hello. Evidently, the little one had decided to forgo their morning nap, so Mama decided a trip to Steam was in order. We chatted a bit and I thanked her for letting me get my nubbins fix. "It just makes you feel better, makes your day," she observed, and I agreed. I continued on my way home, smiling. Halfway down the block I came to a standstill because a tug-of-war was taking place in my brain.

Smiling! That meets the brief of the BRIGHT SPOT Awards.

Well... 

We do feel a little lighter than we did a half hour earlier, yes?

Yes, and, we've already walked away. Wouldn't it be awkward to double back now? 

Maybe, although...

Parents and children. That can be tough. They might think we're a creepy weirdo rather than a kind stranger.

Our heart is in the right place, though. That's bound to shine through.

The real question is about motivation. Are we moved by the experience, or by the need to get to the finish line?

Come on. We've always been a sucker for the nubbinses. 

Fair point. So what do we do now?

I had to sit down on the wall in front of someone random person's house, check in with my mind and heart. The pull toward daring was stronger in the end. This project, which started out as a way to shake off the pandemic blues and turned into a calling, deserved my best and bravest effort.

I wrote out an award, walked back, handed Mama the award, explained a bit about the history of the project, took a picture (with permission) in such a way to uphold their privacy, and headed down the street again.

...

Additional Musings:

The more I think of it, the more gratitude I feel toward the nubbins's Mama. She responded with such grace, and showed genuine interest and care. I walked away energized and full of gladness for having taken the risk. 

Thank you, Mama, where ever you are. I am wishing you a wonderful day. 

I am also wishing the both of you a restful, restorative night's sleep.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 075

Tuesday, September 5, 2023

Recipient: Gabby @ IKEA Restaurant, Centennial, CO

Are you still convinced a BRIGHT SPOT Award-worthy occasion needs to be a big deal?

I wanted a piece of salmon *and* the Swedish meatballs, but not too many meatballs. Gabby suggested an elegant solution -- order the meatballs in a kid's meal, and the salmon a la carte. That worked out perfectly because I wasn't after huge portions. And she had a lovely smile (not pictured here because she is camera-shy).

That's it. The very definition of low barrier to entry.

The cynics may say I just needed to meet my quota.

The haters may say my optimism is childish/unrealistic/too much to stomach.

I say, Have at it, people! You are absolutely entitled to express your opinions. That ain't my business.

I think ready access to delight is part of my original packaging -- so fortunate! -- and a low barrier to entry where happiness is concerned is a gift.

The good news for everyone else is this: You can access it as well. The more you look for those moments in your day, the more you will find them.

SEE THE BRIGHT SPOT. BE THE BRIGHT SPOT.

xoxo

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 074

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Recipient: George @ Whole Foods, Wash Park

"Unconditional love is in all of us." ~ George

My experience of George is exactly what Gillian Sandstrom described in this NPR article (Why a stranger's hello can do more than just brighten your day) when she would pass a particular hot dog stand:

"I never bought a hot dog, but every time I walked past, I would smile and wave at her and she'd smile and wave at me...She made me feel happy," she says. "I felt better after seeing her and worse if she wasn't there."

George is just one of those people. I'd see him in the produce department of my local Whole Foods -- nice smile, bright yet calm energy -- and it would give me a little lift.

On this particular Tuesday, I saw George, felt that small surge of gladness, and went in search of berries. Then I remembered that article. Instead of letting the moment pass and walking out the door I wrote the award and handed it to him. He was very sweet. He said he was honored to receive the award. He mentioned that he's a student of self-knowledge, and consciously works on exuding love and acceptance.

(Aside: He said a bunch of other cool things I thought would be wonderful to add to this post. I went back to gather the information. This was a terrible idea and also a reminder to myself why I usually refrain from further digging. I am a *very, very slow* note-taker and he is a very, very busy guy. I tried to jog his memory of what he had originally said and I took too long and he finally said he didn't want to get in trouble for chatting and not finishing his work. Message received, and lesson re-learned.)

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 073

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Recipient:

Karma @ Bonnie Brae Ice Cream, Bonnie Brae

First of all, you may have noticed I have given more than one award to someone who works at an ice cream shop. That may lead you to believe I frequent ice cream shops more than the average bear. 

No comment.

Second of all, can we just take a moment to revel in the awesomeness of our awardee's name? It's simply perfect and I will use it as often as possible. 

On the day in question I am driving past Bonnie Brae Ice Cream on my way home from a beautiful walk through the Denver Botanic Gardens and do a double-take. No line! This is unusual. Then again, this is also a Thursday morning at 11 am and perhaps not everyone is game for ice cream as breakfast. Except perhaps me.

No comment.

I've also never stopped in before (usually because every other time I am passing by there are 100 people waiting to be served) so I follow my spontaneity and circle around the block to find a place to park.

Karma greeted me warmly and made sure I knew in no uncertain terms that she was there to assist, whether it was to explain what was actually in the ice cream if the name didn't make it clear, or to offer up a sample, whenever I was ready.

After a sample of Triple Death Chocolate I decided to get a split single of that flavor plus Mocha Oreo on a chocolate waffle cone. (A no-holds-barred order for the perennial spoon and a cup gal.) Then -- and I truly love this -- Karma asked if I had a preference regarding which flavor was on top. I let her know how much I appreciated the question as it showed an attention to detail that's wonderful for people who are...particular. She said that even when someone does not express a preference, she will make a considered choice that she thinks will be best in terms of the tasting experience.

It's this thing that gets me every time. A person doing an everyday job in such a caring way that it elevates it to something special. I appreciated being the recipient of Karma's thoughtful service and told her as much. She told me she truly enjoys the job (shift lead), and that after being there for a year, she now has regulars, people offering to let others go ahead of them so she can be their server, and kids asking if she remembers their preferred order, which she does, and all of this is delightfully unsurprising.

P.S.: An Honorable Mention goes to Jake, the other person behind the counter. He took over Karma's customer so I could give her the award and get home in time for my appointment window with ADT, about which I had completely forgotten.

P.P.S: The ice cream was rich and delicious, the waffle cone was sturdy and tasty. Two thumbs up.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 071 and No. 072

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Recipients:

Angie (071) and Norma (072) @ the Denver Botanic Gardens (York Street)

Salad in hand, I was searching in vain for an open table at the DBG's Hive Bistro, a delightful open air affair overlooking the lotus pond. I sat down on the stairs, thinking I was out of the way, and then realizing I was very much in the way of anyone who actually needed to use the handrail. I stood up again and surveyed the sea of occupied seating and wished there was a communal table.

A moment later, two women offered me a chair at their table.

I offered to remain an unnamed occupant if that was their wish. I didn't want to intrude. I also let them know I was open to a conversation and left it up to them. They chose to chat.

I found out Angie and Norma are pals who met in Texas. Norma is from here originally, moved to Texas, and then moved back. Angie was visiting Norma to escape the heat and catch up. They were having a grand time. We talked about a variety of things: the movies they'd seen, the consequences of the pandemic, and the current state of political affairs, Norma's travels as a minister.

For that brief time, they graciously expanded their close-knit circle of two to include a third. I am smiling right now as I remember how lovely it felt to be in the presence of these intelligent, open-hearted people. Their gift continues to give.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: Origin Story

The first BRIGHT SPOT Award, before I was even calling them by that name.

Friday, September 1, 2023

Question: What are The BRIGHT SPOT Awards?

Answer (Reader’s Digest Condensed Version): The BRIGHT SPOT Awards is a challenge I created for myself. If a stranger does anything (directly or indirectly) that makes me smile, I give them a little handwritten note thanking them for being a bright spot in my day.

And now, in the immortal words of Paul Harvey, I present you with ‘the rest of the story’.

Sadness and anxiety weighed upon me like a millstone across the chest in early 2021. I had been out of work for over a year. My job search was going nowhere. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and I was caught in a vicious circular conversation with myself.

You need a job.

Yes, I need a job.

Look on LinkedIn.

Hard to use LinkedIn or any of those other job boards when you don’t know what you’re looking for. What the heck do I plug in for search parameters?

Look for jobs within a five-mile radius. Start with an easy commute.

Well, ok.

[Looks for jobs within a five-mile radius. Gets overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the results. Starts looking at admin and finance jobs. Feels hopeless. Cries. Stops looking.]

[One week later] 

You need a job.

It was a paralyzing experience.

My dear college friend Jana (writing coach extraordinaire, Set Your Muse on Fire!) let me know she would be offering a workshop called Fanning the Flames: Using Writing to Launch Your Dreams. I signed up and started writing.

Every day I would complete the exercises, and every day the same sentence would appear: “I enjoy talking to strangers.” After what seemed like the umpteen-trillionth time of reading those words, I’d had it. [Cue internal monologue.]

“Oh, this again. ‘I love talking to strangers, blah blah blah.’ I’m sick of hearing it.

So WHAT? What are you going to DO about it?”

My brain immediately took the talking-to-strangers idea, added to it Jana’s mention of a 100-day challenge, then topped it off with the memory of the random awards I had printed out with some spare bits of card stock, stirred vigorously. And there it was. The first iteration of the BRIGHT SPOT Awards.

Aside: I feel the need to highlight this moment. Because I am something of an expert at thinking about doing stuff and never taking action. My capacity to let ideas come and go without ever breaking ground (or even getting out of the chair to go to the shed and grab a shovel) is limitless. To have reached this breaking point within myself is noteworthy. To have come up with a plan is amazing. To have then put the plan into motion that very day is a flippin’ miracle.

Every day for 100 days, I would hand out awards and record my experiences on my blog, Late Bloomer’s Digest.

In the winter.

In the middle of a pandemic.

Obstacles appeared right off the bat. There were days when I didn’t actually see any strangers on the street. Then there were days when I left the house for my temp assignment and didn’t come home until 12 hours later. I started to bend the rules in order to stay on the 100-day track. I gave the occasional award to someone I knew. Sometimes I’d run to the store and hope to hell an award-worthy moment would occur. On one memorable occasion I realized I hadn’t given out an award yet and it was already 9:00 pm. I was flinging the front door open to scurry out into the dark when Isaac asked, "Are you going to look for a stranger?" He must have heard me say "I have to go out and find a stranger!" a handful of times by now. Humor from the seedier interpretations of the phrase aside, I found it sad. Absent of spontaneity and joy, the project was reduced to a chore, one at which I felt I was failing. I decided to extend the timeline. Then I extended it again. And again. As of today, I am 940 days into my 100-day challenge. I have finally come to accept that finishing, whenever it happens, is still an achievement.*

I also struggled with the fact that my writings about this project tended to be more about me than the recipient. I had to ask myself why I was doing this in the first place. The award may be for the other person, but from the beginning I knew I needed to let go of the outcome. I had no idea how people would react when I first started. Even today, after so many of those kind folks told me I had made their day, I still make room for the possibility that someone may respond with fear and/or suspicion. That’s okay. It is absolutely their right to react however they will. And, while I love and admire Brandon Stanton’s Humans of New York, this is not that. A staggering number of these awards go to people who are working – grocery store clerks, baristas, retail associates, waitstaff. They’re busy and usually don’t have time to stop and give me a quote or answer biographical questions. As a result, the story I write is usually something along the lines of, “I started out feeling crabby/stressed/discombobulated, a nice person did a nice thing, it turned my day around, and I gave them an award.”

Therein lies the two important takeaways.

Keep your eyes open. Those beautiful tiny iridescent moments are floating around, waiting to be noticed.

Also, be aware that the small kindness you offer out in the world could make a surprisingly large impact.

See the BRIGHT SPOT. Be the BRIGHT SPOT.

* That being said, wouldn’t it be cool if I completed the 100 awards in 1,000 days? And what could be cooler yet? Day 1,000 falls on Halloween!

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 070

 Sunday, July 9, 2023

Recipient:

Gabriella @ Liks, Capitol Hill

Likety Split (more commonly known as Liks) is a Capitol Hill treasure. Great ice cream, nice portions, and excellent service.

Gabriella smiled and joked with us, confirmed Mike's thought that they had done some redecorating in the shop, and her lovely energy was the proverbial cherry on top. The line was out the door and down the street, yet she served up our ice cream in record time and still had the personal bandwidth to make our experience a little extra special. 

I think this is noteworthy because being a scooper in the middle of summer must be something of a thankless job. So many samples to give. So many people waiting. It must seem endless! So, when someone goes above and beyond what's strictly expected from the role, I can't help but notice it and appreciate it. Thank you, Gabriella.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 068 and No. 069

Tuesday, July 4, 2023

Recipients:

Platt Park Neighbors

No. 068: The Mud Masterpieces

Mike and I went out to breakfast at one of our favorite haunts. On the walk home, we passed this house as we have done eleventy-million times before. I've always loved the whimsical ceramic creations topping the fence posts. They bring a little enchantment to the place. And given the enjoyment I have received by seeing these works of art over the last three years, it seemed like an award-worthy cause. 

Totally worth the discomfort of taking pictures at someone's house and walking onto their property to leave the award in one of the three possible mailboxes on the premises.

No. 069: The Coral Door

This was another case of admiring a decor detail in the neighborhood for a long time, and deciding to finally do something about it rather than appreciating it in passing. 

I do love a fresh bright color on a front door! This color literally makes my mouth water. 

And the smile on the tree was just an added bonus.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 067

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Recipient:

Meghan and Linus (?) @ E. 14th and Ogden, Capitol Hill

I was texting back and forth with a guy from Craiglist to make arrangements for pickup of a cute little drop-leaf table. I let him know I was on the way.

Me: En route!

Him: Great

Him: Let me know when you arrive and I'll come down and let you in.

Let me in? I don't know about that. Doesn't sound precisely safe.

So, after finding a parking space and wedging my tiny car into it, I did the common sense thing and STOPPED SOME RANDOM LADY WHO WAS WALKING HER DOG TO ASK IF SHE WOULDN'T MIND WAITING OUTSIDE WHILE I COLLECTED A TABLE FROM UNKNOWN CRAIGSLIST DUDE.

You know, in case he was an axe murderer.

And I would have asked, after waylaying her and explaining the situation.

She beat me to the punch by offering to wait outside until I emerged safely.

Said offer was rendered moot when I called him to notify him of my arrival. He came out onto his balcony and said he'd bring the table down, at which time my "friend" and her dog took their leave.

A small yet staggering act of kindness. It bowled me over. Which was helpful, because the next part was awkward: Hurriedly writing out the award, running down Ogden, crossing E. 14th, and flagging her down once she was in hailing distance. Then writing her name in. Then giving her the award. Then letting her know about the blog. Then asking if she would be OK with my taking a picture. Then taking a picture of Linus because she was camera-shy.

I am left with a warm feeling as I recall this generous gesture.

(I am also left with a stunned feeling because it didn't occur to me until way, way after the fact that I could've said, "Naw, man, I'd rather not go into a stranger's apartment by myself; perhaps we can come up with another solution?" instead. Note to self: Bookmark that topic for a future blog post.)

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 065

Tuesday, June 6, 2023

Recipient:

Evelyn @ Duffeyroll, Platt Park

I've said it once, and I'll say it again 'cause it's still true:

Extroverts make terrible hermits.

The reason for the repeat? 

Today is Tuesday.

The last time I left the house was Friday.

Yes, it was raining for many of those intervening hours, like Denver (CO) decided to take a page out of Worcester's (MA) book, and that made it easy to stay inside. I was also feeling somewhat unmoored. Giving notice at my busy and stressful job was a positive step. I had been adding new pieces to the personal development puzzle -- Morning Pages, journal writing prompts from Don't Keep Your Day Job, Body Groove, meditation. All good stuff. Still, it left enough time for uncertainty to creep up and develop into lethargy. There were a couple of days when I sat back and binge-watched a goodly number of Cold Case episodes until I realized two things:

One, I really needed a shower.

Two, I really needed to get out into the world again.

This may or may not come as a surprise to you, but people will not show up on your doorstep willy-nilly and present you with opportunities to give them BRIGHT SPOT Awards. You (and when I say 'you' I mean 'me') must open the front door, point yourself in a direction, and start walking.

That's exactly what I did. I walked up to Duffeyroll and ordered some breakfast.

I sat. I ate my breakfast sandwich. I drank my coffee. I nibbled on my mini Duffeyroll. I stared at the hundreds of photographs of smiling patrons past. Then a worrisome thought intruded on my quiet reflection:

There is no award-worthy moment.

And because worrisome thoughts are not content to remain alone, the first thought invited a bunch of other worrisome thoughts over for a nice game of canasta and also to send me into early-stage freaked-outedness.

What if there are no more moments? What if I am putting out negative vibes and that's why the opportunities are not arriving? Am I losing my capacity for joy? Am I now so out of practice that there's no flavor left, like the last two sips of a Frappucino which tastes like melted ice plus a trace of mocha that's barely a memory plus sadness?

This is when I noticed the arrow on the picture.

I had seen the picture of the young woman in the Duffeyroll t-shirt, only now I could see the arrow pointing to a photo in the background, which is a photo of her as a little girl. 

Something about this just tickled me pink and got my thinker pinging with questions. What's the story? How old are the pictures? Is she an employee or just a patron who bought the t-shirt? 

I was looking around for someone to ask when I saw Evelyn, who had been working earlier and now happened to be sitting a few seats down at the big red counter on her break. I thought how funny it would be if she was the actual person.

She was not, but that got us into a conversation about pictures -- if the owner still photographs the customers (yes he does, sometimes), if people are more willing to be photographed (in this Age of the Selfie) or if they are less willing -- and off on tangents like how strange it is that people used to ask each other all manner of personal information to put into their address books and nobody batted an eyelash or found it stalker-ish, the continuum of pace of life and where Denver fits as opposed to NYC or a little town in Tennessee, on and on. And then there it was, that molecule of joy, how lovely it is to share a moment of genuine conversation with another human, and how it can turn the filter through which you're viewing the world at that moment a little brighter.

(I also want to mention for posterity's sake that it is she who suggested I bring the BSAs to TikTok, in the event I ever do such a thing. I'd definitely want her to get the credit for the idea.)

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 064

Friday, April 21, 2023

Recipient:

Hannah @ Little Finch, LoDo

Hannah was sitting at the tiny table for two next to mine when I noticed the oatmeal-colored canvas backpack resting atop her wheelie suitcase. 

My first thought was, What an elegant accessory! 

My second thought was, How in the world does she keep it so clean?

And because I am friendly, and also congenitally unable to keep a compliment to myself, we had a conversation that went straight to the heart in short order.

I admired the design and pristine state of her backpack. She mentioned how odd that was, especially since she worked with children (studying their development). Work talk led me to reveal to her something few other people knew: Three hours earlier I had given notice at my job. I wanted something more creative and free-range. Then we were off to the races, talking about meaningful employment and other matters of the soul. 

Her presence that afternoon was a blessing. She was a wonderful listener and a kindred spirit whose enthusiasm for her calling reflected how I want to feel about the next chapter of my career. 

Hannah, wherever you are, thank you for being open to converse with a stranger. 

It was exactly what I needed.

The BRIGHT SPOT Awards: No. 063

Saturday, April 8, 2023

Recipient:

Michael @ King Soopers, Capitol Hill

First off, you need to know something: 

Some people have Resting Bitch Face, I have Resting Sad Face. (My mouth naturally turns down so my neutral face looks sad.)

Enter a guy, working in the produce department.

He observes me staring off into space.

Him: Can I help you find something?

Me, snapping back to the present: Oh! No. I was just trying to figure out what ingredients I might be missing for a recipe. Didn't write them down, of course.

Him: All right. I had to ask. You just had the saddest look on your face...

It rather takes my breath away, this brief moment of kindness and care. Because it is so unexpected.

Because a stranger notices something and then actually reaches out. 

Small thing, and really rather beautiful. 

By the time I finish my shopping and decide to give the guy an award he's on his break. 

Now what? Do I hang around the grocery store for twenty minutes and hand him the award in person? Do I give it to a co-worker to pass on? I decide to stay and wander through the aisles and try not to feel too much like a stalker. Totally worth it! I give him the award and he is nice enough to pose for a picture.